an ordinary chessplayer wrote on 12/13/18 at 04:49:52:


Interesting advice, I will try with my kids

an ordinary chessplayer wrote on 12/13/18 at 04:49:52:

You should have gone with your initial inclination. But I get the sense that that is not your nature.

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Apparently not.

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Wow, are you also an expert on everything, or just how my grandkids get along with each other?

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I guess you are also an expert on psychology and human nature. Impressive.

Our family has played all kinds of games with kids of all ages. They all get along great. If there is a problem, we use it as a teaching moment, but they are rare. The older kids look out for the younger ones and the younger ones adore the older ones. No one gets
taken advantage of. And there is always adult supervision, not that it is needed all that often.

I'm sorry you had such a bad childhood experience. Maybe you could apply some of your psychology expertise to yourself.

I was hoping for some clever ideas for how to make the game more fun. Obviously, I've come to the wrong place. But we will muddle along somehow.

Never underestimate the human potential to be arrogant and dismissive.

This has nothing to do with chess. But I got such great help choosing a chess set for one grandkid, that I am hoping I might get some help with a game I want to use with some other grandkids. And everyone here is good at games.

I would like to adapt a gift-giving game that I've played several times with adults for a Christmas Eve party for 6 grandkids. It's sometimes called the White Elephant game.

In the adult version, everyone bring a wrapped present to a party. The presents are placed in the middle of a room. The names of the participants are placed in a hat and drawn randomly. The person whose name is drawn first chooses a gift, unwraps it, and shows it to everyone. After that, each person whose name is drawn has the choice of unwrapping a present or "stealing" one from someone who already has one. There are rules for how many steals there can be in each round.

In the games that I was involved in, the presents were mostly silly and some were plain junk. A few were kinda nice. We usually had a price target, like $25. If you opened one of the junk gifts, you were out of the game and stuck with the junk, because no one would steal from you and you had already had your turn.

In the kids version, getting a junk gift could result in tears or even temper tantrums, especially with the younger kids. And anyway, no kid should have to sit out of a game or end up with a crappy gift just due to a bad luck-of-the-draw.

So, I want to add a variation or two that will ensure that every kid remains in the game as long as possible and they all get something that they like. I will be providing all of the gifts, so I can solve the junk gift problem by buying all good gifts. There will be no junk gifts. But the kids range in age from 4 to 12 and we have both boys and girls. I'll try to buy gifts that are gender and age neutral as much as possible, but finding something that both a 4 year old boy and a 12 year old girl would like will be a challenge. And I am also worried about missing out on gifts that one kid would really love in favor of ones that they would be just OK with.

I have a couple of ideas. I would appreciate feedback and other ideas.

1. Label the gifts with age ranges in pink (more for girls), blue (more for boys), or green (both). That will allow the kids to choose gifts that they are likely to like. I do worry a tiny bit about gender stereotyping, but I guess that can be sorted out in one of the trading rounds.

2. Add a second round. Round 1 as described above is the "Steal Round". Round 2 will be the "Trade Round". As each kid's name comes up, they can try to negotiate a trade with someone, including trades involving two or more kids. These are all voluntary. One possibility is to do the names in the reverse order from the first round. That way, the kid who had to go first in Round 1 and had no gifts to steal, now gets to go last when everything is open.

3. Buy enough gifts so that every kid will get two. Then in Round 2, as their names come up, they can try to make a trade or open a new present.

4. Add a third "Deal Round" after all presents are open where they can try to make deals to exchange presents.

My goal is a fun evening where each kid gets at least one gift that they really like and no kid feels left out.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions.

Thanks,

-cm