"2) On page 14, near the top of the second column, he gives a line that he states gives black compensation for a pawn...but White has a huge, very obvious improvement on move 16, whereby Black is forced to sacrifice a knight for two pawns and insufficient compensation, in order to save his queen."
I got this book as a birthday present. I am a NID/QID player but I thought it is always good to know something about another opening.
The line is indeed sloppy. It arises after.
d4 Nf6 Nf3 c5 d5 d6 c4 b5 cxb a6 bxa Nc3 g6 g3 Bg7 Bg2 Nfd7 (instead of Nbd7) 0-0 Nb6 Qc2 N8d7 Rd1 0-0 Bf4 Nc4 Rac1 Qa5 Nd2 and now Ndb6.
White can play Nb3 (Nicolai gives Nxc4 Nxc4) and the queen on a5 is trapped due to the b6 knight and black will have to sacrifice his knight.
He probably meant Nde5 instead of Ndb6 when Nxc4 transposes.
I fully agree with Pasha critique. Running a blunder check for a couple of days will reduce these errors easily.
As for grammar I am not able to judge
First impression though, the book looks good. Good general explanation of themes, and he also delves deep enough into variations.
I have not check if all variations are correct though